Let’s cut the crap. You’re here because you’ve read every trading book, memorized candlestick patterns like the alphabet, and still lose money faster than a Vegas tourist at a roulette table 🎰. Congrats! You’ve officially joined the “Smart Kid Trading Crisis” club. Membership perks include existential dread ☠️ and a caffeine addiction ☕.
But hey, at least you’re not alone. The market’s full of overeducated, underperforming geniuses who think Fibonacci retracements are the answer to life. Spoiler: They’re not. Let’s fix this.
1. The Midwit Curve 📊: Where Overthinkers Go to Die
Imagine a bell curve. On one end: crypto bros who YOLO their life savings into Dogecoin 🐕 because “Elon tweeted a meme.” On the other: Warren Buffett types sipping lemonade 🍋 and laughing at your pain. And in the middle? You. The “smart” trader debating whether that bullish hammer is a sign from God 🙏 or just indigestion 🤢.
Here’s the truth: The market doesn’t care if you’re Einstein or a labradoodle with a Wi-Fi connection 🐾. It’ll humble you either way. Your IQ? It’s about as useful as a screen door on a submarine 🚪🌊.
Key Takeaway 🚨:
“The market rewards consistency, not complexity. Your 200 IQ won’t save you from a 200% margin call 📉.”
2. Meet Christopher Langan 🎓: The Smartest Failure You’ll Ever Love
Ever heard of the guy who aced the SATs while napping 😴? Of course not—because he’s now a 70-year-old ex-bouncer 👊 who argues with raccoons 🦝 on his farm. Malcolm Gladwell wrote about him in Outliers. Moral of the story? Intelligence without humility is like a Tesla with flat tires 🚗💨—expensive and going nowhere.
Langan thought he was too smart for school, systems, and society. The market? It’s all three. And it’ll chew up your genius ego like gum under a desk 🧠👎.
Pro Tip 🧠💔:
“Trade like you’re the dumbest person in the room. Spoiler: You probably are.”
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3. Lateral Thinkers 🧩 vs. Linear Normies 📏: A Cage Match
Smart kids are lateral thinkers. We see 69 hidden meanings in a single price chart 📈. “Is this a double top? A bear trap? A metaphor for my failing marriage 💔?” Meanwhile, Linda from HR follows a 3-step trading plan, buys a yacht ⛵, and names it “Compound Interest.”
Why? Because trading isn’t chess ♟️. It’s checkers. You don’t need 4D brainwaves—you need to follow the damn rules 📋.
Cheeky Fix 🤖:
“Automate your trades. Let a bot handle the boring stuff while you cry into your kale smoothie 🥤.”
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4. How to Trade Like a Normie 🧑💼 (and Actually Make Money)
Repeat after me: “I am not Tony Stark 🚫🦸♂️.” The market isn’t your personal arc reactor. Here’s how to stop sabotaging yourself:
Embrace the Checklist 📋: Ditch the quantum physics. Use a system dumber than a TikTok dance trend 💃.
Fail Forward 🔄: Lose small, learn fast, and pretend it’s “data collection 📊.”
Automate or Die 🤖: If you can’t stick to a plan, let a robot do it. They don’t have egos (yet).
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Bonus Hack 🌍🚫:
“Trade like a Flat Earther. Rob from the podcast did it with random lines and still won 🏆. If he can, so can you.”
[CLOSING: A LOVE LETTER TO MEDIOCRITY 💌]
Look, I get it. You’ve been told you’re “gifted 🎁” since kindergarten. Newsflash: The market doesn’t give a rat’s asterisk 🐀 about your participation trophies 🏅.
So here’s your prescription 💊:
Ditch the ego 🚮.
Follow a system simpler than a microwave manual 🍿.
Profit 🚀.
And if you still think you’re smarter than the market? Go ask Chris Langan. He’ll be the guy ranting about string theory 🧵… to the raccoons 🦝.
TL;DR 🗣️:
IQ won’t save you. Humility will. Now go trade like a normie and buy me a latte ☕ when you’re rich.
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